Exclusive! Before I Competed in Miss World, I Faced a Battle with Anxiety and Depression: Suman Rao

Miss India, the coveted crown, the dazzling sash, and the allure of glamour - the world of beauty pageants has fascinated countless hearts. Many of us have dreamt of donning that crown or playfully pretending to be a beauty queen since childhood. We witness the headlines celebrating the triumphs of beauty queens, making India proud on prestigious platforms like Miss World and Miss Universe. But behind the glitz and glamour lies an untold story of relentless hard work and dedication that paves the way to victory.

In the year 2019, a radiant star emerged in the beauty pageant world - Suman Rao. Crowned as Miss India, she embarked on a remarkable journey to represent India at Miss World, where she soared to the heights of success, earning the prestigious title of Miss World Asia and runner-up. 

In this candid conversation, Suman Rao - a true embodiment of dreams and determination, opens up about the never-told-before aspects of her awe-inspiring journey, her struggles, and a lot more.

How has your journey as Femina Miss India and representing India at Miss World shaped your personal growth and perspective on life? Can you elaborate on any specific experiences or lessons that have had a lasting impact on you?

I was at my most clueless self throughout the journey from Miss India to becoming Miss World (RU)/Asia! Everything was so new and exciting, yet scary and nerve-wracking! I am someone who likes to work with plans. For winning the Miss India contest, I knew what I was supposed to prepare for and how I would go about it. But I didn't even think about what I would do right after I won! We all set targets or have goals to achieve and work hard for them. However, how many of us think about the next step, especially at a young age like mine, when I won? So yes, this is something I learned, or that helped me grow personally: one shouldn't restrict their life only to a certain goal or agenda to accomplish. Instead, they should have a life aside and think beyond what to make of what they have achieved and not lose hold of themselves!

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You recently wore an outfit by the organization you supported in Your Beauty with a Purpose project. What were the emotions like?

Since childhood, many things around me that were against the growth of women have affected me a lot! I've always wanted someone to speak out and act, but I could only see everyone ignoring it, which bothered me. It bothered me so much that I started looking for opportunities where I could start talking about it or bring everyone's attention to it. When we won Miss World in 2017, and I saw our Miss World using the international platform to support her cause and bring about successful change, all I could see was an opportunity for me to shed light on the unfairness against women and the wrong mindset that society has been following like a shepherd! Whenever I wear something made by the women working under Project Pragati - under PDKF, it gives me immense pride and happiness. I can feel the hard work and dedication of the lovely women working towards the betterment of their lives, families, and communities!

Representing India at Miss World must have been an incredible experience. And now it's been four years or so. Do you still get goosebumps thinking about the journey? Can you share some memorable moments and how they shaped your perspective on a global stage?

Well, yes, I'll be completing four years in December. I still wonder how it happened. Was it me who did it, or was it someone else? Hahaha. I have incredible memories from my Miss World journey, and I can talk about it for hours, but the most important part is how it shaped my perspective on the world!

Before Miss World, I felt like I was living in a box, only thinking that the world was limited to what I had surrounded myself with. I believed there were limitations to what I could do or should do. Despite thinking out of the box, I unintentionally restricted myself. However, this changed after my Miss World experience. I had the opportunity to meet representatives from 125 countries and learn about their cultures, hardships, purposes, ambitions, and causes for which they needed the platform. It felt like we were all part of an army fighting against injustice, using our voices for the unheard. We all wanted the same thing—a beautiful and peaceful world.

Aspiring Miss India contestants dream of representing the country at Miss World. What advice would you give them, considering the responsibilities and challenges of the title?

My favourite advice is to lose yourself to find yourself, and once you find yourself, make sure you be it to the fullest and present it to the world in the purest possible way! Rest all will eventually fall in place, and you'll be able to deliver your best to your responsibilities and face the challenges effortlessly!

Throughout your journey, who were the key sources of support and motivation for you? How did they contribute to your success?

My family, best friends, and lovely mentors—this sweet little world of mine stuck with me through thick and thin and supported me selflessly throughout my journey! It wouldn't have been possible without any of them! They reminded me of why I was there every day, every time I became weak, which allowed me to try to be my best self mentally and physically.

Can you share the success mantra that kept you focused and motivated throughout your journey? How did you overcome any doubts or regrets that arose along the way?

My success mantra has always been to believe in myself and trust my abilities. Whenever doubts or regrets arose, I practised self-talk and self-reflection. I reminded myself that I am responsible for my success and have the resilience to overcome challenges. Visualizing myself as a diamond undergoing pressure to shine brightly helped me embrace difficulties and stay motivated towards personal growth.

Looking back at your journey, can you pinpoint a significant turning point or moment of self-discovery that profoundly affected your values or aspirations? 

One of the most significant turning points in my journey was when I experienced a severe skin condition just three days before the finale. My face was swollen, itchy, and covered in acne rashes, and painful boils made the situation worse. I had two options: break down and give up or confront my inner demons and do my best. I chose the latter.

Determined not to give up, I immediately sought treatment at the hospital. The doctor informed me that my skin would take more than a week to heal. Despite feeling like my world was collapsing, I stayed calm, optimistic, and hopeful. I cried while applying and removing makeup throughout that challenging time, desperately trying to improve my appearance for the camera interviews. I knew my fans in India were eagerly waiting to see and hear from me.

Despite the tears, I persevered, focusing on the positive aspects and continuing to treat my skin condition. After the finale, as I reflected on my journey, I realized the untapped power of resilience within me - a strength I didn't even know I possessed. I discovered that I can overcome anything with determination and a positive mindset. To this day, I refuse to give up and embrace challenges as opportunities for growth.

What was the most difficult part of your journey you wish people knew?

Before I competed in Miss World, I faced anxiety and depression, something I hadn't mentioned anywhere before. I struggled immensely with my mental health for about two to three weeks. Anxiety and stress consumed me, making deciding or focusing on anything else difficult. I felt trapped within my mind, trying to comprehend the emotions I was experiencing. Unable to attend therapy sessions or work out, I suffered from sleepless nights and barely ate more than one meal daily. I isolated myself in my room, feeling helpless.

However, my national director Natasha and my entire team proved to be my lifeline. Fortunately, we didn't have to seek medical intervention. Instead, they found alternative ways to support and uplift me. Natasha ensured I never felt alone, surrounding me with positivity and love. My mentor spent hours listening to my struggles and offering solutions to help me overcome them. The whole team was just a message or phone call away, pouring their love and kindness into my empty heart, replacing anxiousness with joy and positivity. With their support and dedicated self-care, I was able to make India proud.

Your fans love your dance routines on Instagram. You have always loved dancing and performing. Who, as per you, is the best performer you see on stage?

Performing on stage is something I deeply love and cherish; it's when I feel truly alive. It's hard to put into words the incredible rush it brings. My biggest source of inspiration comes from the exceptionally talented and passionate actor Madhuri Dixit. Watching her dance moves and trying to replicate her expressions has been an integral part of my journey. She is a true legend in the industry. If I can attain even half of her greatness in this lifetime, it would fulfil me with absolute happiness.

Finally, what message would you like to convey to young individuals who look up to you and aspire to impact their communities positively?

Never take yourself too seriously! Zindagi Bahut choti hai aur hamare pass waqt Bahut kam! We have dreams and battles to face, but amidst it all, don't forget to discover your purpose in life. Once you find it, nurture it and work towards it. Seek a purpose that not only helps your personal growth but also contributes to the growth of society, creating a better place for everyone to live beautifully and peacefully.

I have always believed in the concept of being a giver. The more love and help you give to the world, the more you will receive in return. Embrace true selflessness, and you will find solutions to improve the issues within your communities.

Sending lots of love to all of you, and thank you for reading my interview.

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