5 Tips to Cope with Postpartum Stress and Depression

When the experience of mood variations of a new mother (and sometimes both parents) goes beyond swaying from joy to sorrow to confusion, anger, and helplessness; when it interferes with day-to-day life, when the fluctuations in thoughts, moods, and behavior are extreme and lasts longer than just a few weeks after childbirth, it's time to take notice and get help for what could be signs of postpartum(perinatal) depression (PPD).

In India, recent studies estimated the prevalence of perinatal depression to be between 14 and 24% (Priyadarshini et al.,2023). It is time we focus on not just recognizing symptoms of postpartum depression, but also understanding the potential benefits of prevention, creating awareness, organizing educational workshops for to-be parents, and providing continuous mental health support which is known to reduce symptomatology and show better health and wellbeing outcomes for the new mothers (Alhasel, Abdelgadir, & Alshehri, 2018).

PPD is most often ignored, despite being debilitating and extremely important to recognize and support. Before we get into ways to cope with postpartum depression, let me take you through how PPD feels like for a new parent, more often than not, the mother. a) A disconnect with your newborn, feeling like it doesn't belong to you. b) Experiencing strong negative emotions and harmful thoughts, like wanting to hurt oneself and/or the infant; c) Inconsolable crying; withdrawal from partner and family; extreme anger; d) Inability to carry out everyday tasks and responsibilities, a complete lack of drive and e) Unexplained feelings of isolation.

Experiencing one or more of these could lead to strong feelings of self-loathing, self-criticism, and guilt; which stops the mother from talking about this to anyone else for fear of judgment and ridicule. Depression is not an expected term to be associated with a unique and joyous experience like childbirth. If you feel torn, helpless, empty inside, and despondent, you must know that that isn't a regular, likely part of motherhood. It's not your fault, do not deal with this feeling alone.

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Postpartum depression is all too real and here are five ways in which one can cope with it to aid in recovery thus leading to a healthy and fulfilling relationship with the little one and themselves.

Learn, understand, and be aware:

Educating yourself about the process of pregnancy and childbirth helps to build the right awareness, equips us with perfect tools, and prepares us for any eventualities (from what to expect when you're expecting to aspects in postpartum care). Recognizing potential risk factors for postpartum/perinatal stress/depression can be life-changing. For example, while the classic risk factors associated with depression apply here as well, including a previous history of psychiatric illness; gynecological and obstetric factors also play a role. Some additional concerns would be marital discord, lack of a supportive network, vitamin D deficiency, gestational diabetes, socioeconomic factors, etc. although the association with PPD may be strong or weak for each of these factors, individually. Preparedness and prevention are most critical to facilitate better coping and recovery.

Focus on self-care:

A happier, healthier individual is a happier, healthier parent. Pregnancy and childbirth are a long and life-altering experience. While it is satisfying on several levels it can also lead to deep dissatisfaction and feelings of overwhelm when it comes to one's own life and individuality. This is where self-compassion and self-care come in. Studies have shown that exercising strengthens the core abdominal muscles, helps regulate one's moods and sleep, eases pain, and increases energy. What's not to like? The endorphins released in the process of exercising increase a mother's overall emotional well-being and help manage PPD. However, self-care doesn't mean only rigorous exercise; it means brisk walking; it means a visit to the parlor for a massage and some pampering; it means a meal with friends; and a special time carved out with one's partner to reconnect and rekindle the relationship.

Conscious bonding with the baby:

One of the biggest signs of experiencing postpartum stress/depression is the inability on the part of the mother to bond with her baby. It's okay if you feel this way, don't be hard on yourself. It is important to understand that while this is not a natural part of childbirth, it can be handled with understanding, support, and intent. a) Remind yourself to cuddle with your newborn and cradle the little one skin-to-skin, even if you don't feel like it, do it anyway. This helps both you and your baby to relax, enables better sleep for the baby, earlier weight gain, better development, less crying, and most importantly, it creates a bond between your baby and you. b) Schedule to massage your baby yourself every day. Learn how to massage your baby right (learn online or ask someone experienced to show you how it is done). Studies have shown that baby massage decreases the severity of symptoms of PPD experienced by the mother. c) Force that smile, sing that lullaby. Babies reflect the mother's smile when held nearby and seeing your little one smile back at you gives you a natural rush of dopamine. Sing a song to your infant, even if it's out of tune and the lyrics all wrong, it provides the baby with the necessary sensory stimulation and gives you momentary relief from focusing on thoughts of depression and anxiety.  

Reach out to friends and family:

Find refuge in your tribe. Be it old friends or new; siblings or new mom groups, what you need is empathy, understanding, and kindness, and who better to give you this than your girl gang? It is important to share what you go through and lighten your load. Shared experiences can be encouraging and motivating. Moreover, finding the right kind of emotional support can boost your self-esteem and confidence, especially in the new role you hold. Being a part of new parent support groups will allow you to share your insecurities, worries, and doubts without worrying about being misunderstood or judged. Reassurance can be reaffirming of you as an individual and as a new parent.

Professional Mental Health Support:

When you or someone you know is struggling with the symptoms of postpartum stress/depression, which goes beyond the period of  “Baby blues”, lasts over several weeks or starts even a year later after childbirth, and does not go away despite trying the regular ways to cope with it like making lifestyle changes, signing up with support groups, self-help, etc. then help should be sought from a mental health professional. Psychotherapy and sometimes even medication may be required. Counselling helps manage feelings and fears and Cognitive Behavior Therapy greatly improves symptoms of PPD stress and anxiety.

This blog is written by Rohini Rajeev, Senior Psychotherapist and Founder, of The Able Mind